Gender Confusion In Children - The Need For Truth

Many have heard of men who feel as though they are really women trapped in a man’s body, but fewer are familiar with the prevalence of this dynamic in children. It will not surprise anyone to hear that we are living in the midst of a society that is profoundly confused about issues of gender. What may not be as apparent is that children are not immune from the current intellectual and cultural atmosphere of blended and confused gender identification. More and more children are being raised in a world largely unacquainted with biblical standards of morality or reality. Consequently, they are left to find truth in their own way and are ignorant of both who and what they are. That, this confused search for identity can extend to the subject of a person’s gender can be clearly seen in a series of news stories that recently aired on the National Public Radio (NPR) program All Things Considered (aired May 7th, 2008). In the first of these programs the host, Alix Spiegel, follows the journeys of two sets of parents. Both have six-year-old boys who steadfastly believe that they are really girls.

Both families are wealthy and well-educated, and neither family sees a problem with their son’s proclivity for playing with Barbie as opposed to G.I. Joe. One of the mothers described her initial reaction this way, “We thought he was creative, lovely. Of course, why wouldn't you identify with the female characters? They're more colorful, and maybe he doesn't want to stab the other guy on the horse.” The mother of the other little boy, Jonah, encouraged her son’s “creativity” by dressing him up as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz for Halloween and by caving in to his insistence, at age 3, that she buy him a dress. According to Spiegel, “Jonah felt that he was not a boy. Jonah felt that he was a girl, a girl to his core, a girl trapped in a boy's body. He was absolutely certain of it.” Eventually, Jonah’s parents sought help from Dr. Diane Ehrensaft, who is a developmental and clinical psychologist in the San Francisco Bay Area. Under her counsel, Jonah’s parents were encouraged to embrace his new gender by transferring him to another school district in which he could be enrolled as a girl. They were instructed to allow him to dress and socialize as a girl. It is worthwhile to listen to how Dr. Ehrensaft explained the rationale behind her approach to Jonah:

"I think we can learn from looking at what we had to unlearn and re-learn about homosexuality. You see, 35 years ago, homosexuality was considered a mental illness, a pathology so severe that it required aggressive therapeutic intervention ... Today, the American Psychiatric Association's position is that therapies which try to turn homosexuals into heterosexuals are unethical. Homosexuality is now seen as a normal variant of human behavior.”

Dr. Ehrensaft believes that it is normal human behavior for a young boy to believe that he is really a girl and furthermore, that it would be unethical to attempt an intervention to counteract it. She goes beyond this, asserting that not only is it unethical to oppose the “reassignment” of a person’s gender but it is unhealthy as well. Again Dr. Ehrensaft: “If we allow people to unfold and give them the freedom to be who they really are, we engender health. And if we try and constrict it or bend the twig, we engender poor mental health.” She believes that it is unhealthy for a person to deny who he/she really is and attempt to live as something which he/she is not. We must recognize that Dr. Ehrensaft is making a statement of absolute truth here; namely that a person’s gender is ultimately determined by his or her feelings on the issue. She believes that a child can confidently know who he/she is apart from any outside counsel and that it is the responsibility of parents, teachers, caregivers, etc. to simply listen closely to what that child is saying so that he or she can tell us who one really is.

We must realize that the Bible paints a very different picture. Proverbs tells us that, “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child.” (Prov. 22.15 [NAS]) It is important to note that God locates the foolishness of a child in his or her heart. Children are not simple beings, and they come into this world with some surprisingly sophisticated ways of warping reality to their own desires. The Bible reveals to us that humans are born neither innately good nor passively neutral, rather we are actively opposed to God’s will for our lives from day one. David expresses this truth by observing, “Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.” (Ps. 51.5 [NIV]) This is why it is so vital that the Church and godly parents take seriously their responsibilities set forth by Paul: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Eph. 6.4 [NAS]) The Church must not bow to the idol of unguided “self-discovery” but should instead realize that we can only come to know ourselves truly when we come to know God truly. This is a reality that Jonah is being allowed to ignore because, presumably, the truth is somewhere in his mind or feelings. Let us introduce our children to the Savior who challenges us by saying, "If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free." (Jn 8.31-32 [NAS]) This is THE truth that our kids need to hear.

I will treat another aspect of this controversy in next week’s blog.